Spend my entire day at home today. Been thinking of stuff, loads of stuff. Abt the past, present and future. I really wish I could have changed somethings I've done in the past. Perhaps things would be the same as it is today. But I can't and am unable to do so.
Sometimes I feel so lonely, such as today. I dunno why but this feeling just gets to me. I shld be immune to loneliness long time ago, being the only child of the family. But at times, I feel lonely, empty in fact, even when I've got frenz around me. I dunno wat's happening ot me. I wanna brighten up, I wanna live like how I use to be. But certain things just ain't the same. Some stuff just can't be changed.
I'm growing increasingly pessimistic these days. Taking today for example, my cating for the movie might just become poof just because of some stupid contract I still have currently. How I'd wish I've never taken part in that competition, one that has brought me so much pain, and suffering. But on a second thought, without it, I wouldn't have met many others, who stand by me and supported me.
I'm just so lost now, lost in neverland. I just can't seem to be able to face the fact. Sometimes I really want to give up. Just wanna stop everything, I've had enough already. I feel like such a failure.
There are just to many "if"s I have in my heart. If this never took place, if I never say this.. Please, someone save me.
Iron Maiden @ Dance of Death
