Seems like I'm always lost rite?
I don't know why too, but these days, I keep losing my sense of direction in life, I totally have no idea where I'm heading and have no clue about what lies ahead for me..
I'm no longer hyper-sensitive, no longer able to read other people's mind.. I can't seem to do anything right these days. I can't tell what others are thinking, what they want.. It hinders me, it hindersmy movements, my reactions, everything in my life.
Perhaps it's just this one person that I can't seem to read, just that very person. Tell ya the truth, I might sound like some reltaionship expert when others consult in me their story, but when it comes to my own, I'm screwed-up.. To a maximum.
But seriously, must thank emily for chatting till late yest.
Thanks a lot gal!
Thanks for listening and giving your pespective. I really needed something like that.. At least to keep me going on for, well, as long as I can go on about..
My confidence is dying, it's dead to be exact. For relationships. I've never really succeeded in that area, not that I want to, and please keep in mind, the meaning of succeed in my context is having a smooth relationship, or at least, to go about smoothly. But nothing goes my way. From the way I view it.
I'm tired, I'm tired of being the chaser, and be the one who longs for replies, answers and looking forward to meeting up. I sound desperate lah.
Why am I always the one giving, but ends up getting hurt instead?
Why should I initiate every single thing?
Why should do I always have to love more than what I actually receive?
I'm tired. I really am.
But I've made up my mind. I think I've really come to the conclusion. I should just leave everything at where it is. Take a break, give us both a break. Maybe then, we'll find out what exactly is the thing that we want.
I should stop all the sms-es, all the Hello's on MSN, all the so wat are you doing.. I'm sick of all those. Why can't things be the other way around?
You might be thinking guys should be the one who's more giving, as in giving in more, but HELLO, this is a open society, guys like me here, get tired to, of being the chaser. It's very demanding.. So I quit. Or at least, put a comma to all the on-going things. I need a break.
But the problem is, how long can I sustain in this break? Well we'll just have to see...
And how long would it be before the other person finds me gone? That, time will tell.
