Just came home after one show, feeling relatively depressed.. I just feel that I'm really not good enough to be in the department. I cant seem to get things right and my pitch is just, ARGH...
It's really not easy with so many relatively pitch perfect pple around you and experience singers, it's drives me crazy, cause I'm not doing what I'm best at. This really sux.
Maybe it's been a wrong choice, maybe I shld be dancing and performing the old ways like I always do instead of what I'm doing now. It's something new I've got to admit but I just feel that I'm not up for it and peer pressure is really killing me, the kind of silence and all.. Fuck lah, gimme a break can, I'm not fucking pitch perfect like you are, just gimme a break.
It's really depressing to lose faith in something you thought you were good at for years, and pple still go on complimenting, I just feel that I dont deserve them with my current standards.. I'm really lost, really. I've lost the will to sing these days, losing it already.
I'm trying my best to fight it but it's just, too tough to describe..
And I'm falling sick, real soon.. I've got this sudden urge to just eat all the wrong stuff and just lose my voice, just lose it, maybe i'd feel better that way.
